Earlier today, my ex called me. This was the first time, we’ve talked in three months. He told me how his life wasn’t the same without me, that he missed me, he even apologized for everything he had done. He told me that I was beautiful and a great girl that anyone would be lucky to have and basically that he messed up. It was awkward at first because we haven’t talked in so long. He was going through a rough time today and said I was the first person he called. He even dialed my number from his memory!
I didn’t know what to feel or what to think. I really needed to hear a lot of what he said. It was like I finally got some closure because we were able to talk about our break up since we never really got a chance too. We both even shed a few tears. When I go home for thanksgiving break, he really wants to see my mom and I to apologize to both of us - her (my mom) because he hurt her daughter, which is really sweet. He wants to put everything on the table by coming clean about some things to my mom. Also he wants to change some of his ways. He said he wants to change for me and himself, but mainly for me.
Those three months without him in my life were horrible. I tried to move on but every night I found myself still thinking about him and praying for him. I prayed that he would call one day just so I could hear his voice and God answered my prayers today. We talked all day.
My ex was my best friend for years and tonight he told me that he realized that the quote “You never know what you had, till its gone” is true. He sounded so sincere. He even told me that he brought one of the letters I wrote him while we were dating to school just because it said I love you in it.
He really has a way with words. I’m trying not to rush things because I don’t want to end up in the same situation again. I want to see him change first and that is going to be a long process. Plus we ended up on a bad note, so he is going to have to prove A LOT to me. He also said he wants to marry me in the future and he realizes that he must change first so that can happen. I really think he wants to fix things. I’ve missed him so much. He was my first love and I was his.
He admitted the reason he tried to push me away was because he feared a long distance relationship and that now he sees that he was just being selfish.
And lastly, he told me he still loved me…I didn’t say it back but not because I didn’t still feel it, it’s just hard after everything that has happened between us and I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing.
I’m so glad he called and that we got to reconnect. He said he would text me tomorrow because he wants to stay in touch with me now and rebuild our friendship and hopefully later a better relationship than we had before. I’m excited to see what God has in store for me now.
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